I need to find out the Coraville bus schedule to see when the earliest time I can get to the mall. I want to get an application from Scheels and hopefully they'll hire me. I have experience working with apparel so that should be a plus for them, and that with my other job experiences will hopefully get me on the higher end of their $8.00-$14.00 pay rate. (right now it's the only job I've found that comes close to what I'm making now.) I might also see about working at the Sheraton but I think it's a minimum wage thing. I'll need to double check that. But it won't hurt to apply anyway. If I get hired at either of those places, I'll put in notice at Burge. I love working there, but it's a student job so I can't very well plan on keeping that around.

I need to start looking at apartments and making friends who need apartments, cuz I'll need a place to live in December. Perhaps I should make a flyer or something? Alex and John are fine with me staying with them but it's such a small space. I really don't want to go back home. There's nothing for me there, and I know if I go back, I'll be stuck there. It's not a good place to get stuck. If I start making some headway, I'm hoping to let my mom know these plans over Thanksgiving. But maybe I'll already be working somewhere during that time and I'll end up not going home for the holiday.

I really have to start working on this online class or else I won't graduate and then what's the fucking point of working so hard on everything else. I'll also need to read a novella that I should have been finished with already. It's only on library reserve for a four hour time slot so fingers crossed that I'm motivated. Maybe I'll see about getting all my reading for the next week on Friday. (Or at least over the weekend.)

And maybe I'll finally go to No Shame again? I've been wanting to go but something else always pops up. Less probable is me writing a piece, but you never know.

I need to try and get in a more positive way of thinking before I go to bed so writing this will (hopefully) make me feel better.

I am enjoying my classes. I have some midterms coming up. I'm okay with them. I don't really care for essays, though; I find it difficult to add creativity and I despise citing sources. I have ideas for my Cold War Comedies film response, and that should be more fun than the average essay. The movies were entertaining, so that should add some fuel to my writing fire. The Soviet Union essay will probably be a little more dry in nature, but I have a rough idea of the grading style and should be able to produce accordingly. (Not like last semester in Society and Revolution in Cuba where I worked my ass off creating what I know would have been at least a B if not a B+ in any other class and every thing barely got Cs.) I have my first Voice performance in a week. I'm a little nervous as I've not memorized my piece completely. I do have to arrange a meeting with the accompanist to go over the song and pay her a $75 fee for the semester. (Oh, I was supposed to get into a positive way of thinking. oops.)

I've got 16,500 words written of a book I've been working on. This is the most headway I've ever gotten on one of my novel ideas. I have to keep remembering that first drafts always suck and to not get discouraged. (I often forget because all of my school essays are first drafts and they get good grades.) I am, actually, enthusiastic about this project. It's an idea that's been floating around and developing in my brain since I was about 10. While I do find realistic fiction more my forte, this fantasy novel does seem to be coming along quite nicely. So far the working title is "The Clans." 

Another thing is a project I've been working on with a close friend. I've been calling it "The Project." She has been calling it "Molly's Project." I came up with the base concept and the characters, and she's my little plot machine, giving a real life to my characters. I think the two of us think the other is the more important creator in this. It's meant to be a sitcom. Seems fitting, doesn't it? The Psychology major creates the characters, and the Film/English major writes the script.

Also, I've been having sex. Not with the guy I like. He has a girlfriend. (But I'm quite confident in his physical attraction to me.) But I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this other guy, and it may just be those silly little hormones that occur. I'm sure I'd be able to sort that all out if we weren't having sex. But then where's the point in that? One thing I like about just a purely sexual relationship as opposed to a romantic one, is that I can be assured that the primary feelings are reciprocated. (Oh you want to have sex with me? I want to have sex with you, too. Let's fuck.) Romantically, I am never completely sure who likes the other more or equally. Most of the time I think I'm the one with the majority of the emotions. Does he think about me like I think about him? And as often? Does he find me annoying? Does he think I'm stupid? Does he like someone else better?

Also, why is my writing style so weird today? (Well, not weird. Just a bit different from my normal tone, rife with sentence fragments and one line paragraphs starting with conjunctions.) Is my writing style different? I feel that it sounds like I wrote it. The subtle nuances of the writing style are, often, just as useful as a fingerprint in identifying someone.

I actually feel better. Mission accomplished. I should do this more often.